Things that cannot be done — page 2
The circle that will not square
The other three impossibilities are a number having the wrong degree. This one is a number having no degree at all — and that is a claim no finite search can establish, which makes it the one place in this field where the picture has to admit what it is not doing.
The field with four elements
The integers modulo four are not a field: two times two is zero and two has no reciprocal. There is nevertheless a field with four elements, and building it means giving up on counting as the way to make arithmetic finite.
The thirty-six officers
Six regiments send six officers each, one of every rank. Arrange all thirty-six in a square so that each row and each column holds every rank once and every regiment once. Euler could not, guessed why, and was wrong about the reason.
Four conditions, and no rule that has all of them
The rung below shows five reasonable rules returning five different winners, which invites the obvious question of which one is right. The answer is that the conditions anybody would write down cannot all hold at once — and here each named rule's own violation is found by search rather than quoted.
A lie that pays
Three rungs of this ladder have read a ballot as a report of a preference. This one reads it as a move, and walks every move one voter has — all six rankings, the winner each produces, and the ones that beat honesty.
The seat that vanishes when the house grows
Twenty-seven whole seats have to be divided between five regions whose exact shares are 15.417, 7.209, 1.755, 1.431 and 1.188. Every rule for rounding those five numbers breaks something, and the instance drawn here breaks all three of the classical ways at once.
Envy-free, up to one item
A cake can be cut anywhere, and every guarantee in this anchor was bought with that freedom. Take the knife away and the exhaustive search over every allocation of three objects returns nothing envy-free at all — so the subject weakened the word until taking turns was enough to reach it.
No stable rule is safe from a lie
A stable matching always exists, and the side that proposes gets the best one it could hope for. This essay closes the ladder with the result that spoils it — one participant's whole strategy space searched, four submissions found that beat the truth, and a theorem saying no rule anywhere escapes.
A loop that cannot miss the middle
Feed a circle into a polynomial and a closed loop comes out. A small circle gives a loop that does not enclose the origin; a large one gives a loop that goes round it as many times as the degree. Something has to happen in between, and that something is a root.
Which side of the line is inside
A closed curve with no self-crossings divides the plane into an inside and an outside. Nobody doubts it, almost nobody can prove it, and on a curve wound tightly enough nobody can see which side a given point is on either.
The staircase that is not the diagonal
A staircase can be made to follow a quarter circle as closely as anyone likes. Its length is 2 at every stage and the arc's length is 1.5708, and no amount of refinement closes the gap — which is a fact about length rather than about staircases.
The most area a fence can hold
One length of boundary, and the question of what shape to bend it into. The answer is a circle, everybody knows it, and the argument that convinced the nineteenth century turned out to prove something slightly different.
A loop that cannot be pulled tight
A hole is a strange thing to point at, because it is precisely where the surface is not. What can be pointed at is a loop of string lying on the surface — and the hole announces itself by refusing to let that loop be pulled in to a point.
Two graphs that will not lie flat
Five points, every pair joined: no matter how the points are placed or how the lines are drawn, two of the lines cross. The proof is not about drawing at all — it counts edges against faces and finds one edge too many.
A curve with a corner at every point
Continuity means a curve can be drawn without lifting the pen. Differentiability means it has a tangent. The first was assumed to nearly imply the second until 1872, when Weierstrass exhibited a curve that is continuous everywhere and has a tangent nowhere — and it is a sum of cosines.
The triangle that a globe gets wrong
On a sphere, a right triangle with legs of fifty and sixty degrees has a hypotenuse of seventy-two, not seventy-eight. The theorem is not approximately true there — it is false, and what replaces it says exactly how much room the surface has.
Two barriers and a fair game
A fair walk between two absorbing barriers is ruined with a probability that is a straight line in the starting stake, and lasts for a number of steps that is the product of what each side can lose. Both facts come from the same two-line recurrence, and both are bad news for the smaller player.
The corners go first
Fourier was not decomposing waves for the pleasure of it. He was solving the flow of heat, and the whole apparatus exists because each harmonic fades at a rate set by the square of its frequency — which is why a sharp profile smooths instantly and why the flow cannot be run backwards.
Seven regions on a doughnut
A map on a torus can need seven colours, and the proof is a picture — seven regions, each sharing a border with all six others. The plane needed a computer and eighty-six years; the harder surface was settled in 1890 by drawing something.
Circles that are diamonds and squares
The theorem hands over a formula for distance. Take the formula as a definition, change the exponent in it, and the set of points one unit from the origin stops being round — while remaining, in every sense that matters, a circle.
Where the fixed point escapes
The theorem asks for a set that is closed, bounded and free of holes. Drop any one of the three and a map appears that moves every single point — and in each case the point that should have stayed still can be seen leaving.
An average that never settles
The average of many independent quantities is supposed to steady as their number grows. For one famous distribution it does not steady at all — the average of a thousand draws has exactly the same distribution as a single draw, and no amount of further averaging changes it.
A twist that cannot avoid two points
Turn the two edges of a ring in opposite directions without changing any area, and something in between must stay exactly where it is — not one point, but at least two, and the reason is that two loops enclosing the same area have to cross.
A tower whose degrees multiply
Treat a field containing another as a vector space over it, and the size of an extension becomes a dimension — one that multiplies along a tower, so that three impossible constructions become arithmetic about which numbers divide which.